Saturday, August 20, 2011


I'm struggling with the demons with in, they have a tight grip on me right now. It seems to be getting harder and harder to break free. My nephew is dead i can grip that, i just want to know why. I am struggling for the whys. I'm starting to let that go though and am moving into boy do i miss him so. I loved him as much as my own boys, he brought joy to all of our lives. These demons, well they are starting to loosing up.

Now I have my husband and the demons i have been struggling with him with for the better part of 8 years, I was ready to leave last week we went to the therapist and i told her so. She made sure to make a special appointment for me on a Saturday, hmm maybe i should worried about that one. So i have decided that since my husband wants to keep going than i at least owe him that. I just want to be happy and i know that comes from within, i am happy with my self just not always my situation. So one baby step at a time. and maybe all the lessons to be learned will happen and work for me..


  1. If anything, you owe it to yourself to be happy. You cannot be happy with others if you are not happy within. Maybe the therapist sees something about you that triggered her to make that appointment. Life does suck sometimes but hopefully, this will all come together well for you! Hugs.

  2. When somebody set fire to the Inn, I struggled with the whys too. I finally concluded that it was an action of somebody that was mentally ill and I would never be able to understand why because that would require having the same mind set as that mentally ill individual. I'm not saying you're not a little mental - LOL - but I'm just saying you're not in the same mind set as your nephew was so you'll likely never know the answer to the whys that are haunting you. The trick is focusing on the hows. How are you going to move forward now??