voices

So here i am talking to my friend about her current situation, And she says i should have listen to the voices in my head, as to which i replied, oh i don't listen to mine very often it is always telling me to jump. That's right the evil little guy on my shoulder saying jump i know you can fly, the other one saying hey i have never steered you wrong you cant fly. As to which i am now looking at them saying shut up. I can to fly, wait i don't have wings, i want to jump, no i dont i still have to much to do. I want to meddle in others affairs, no you don't , oh yeah well to late already did. I want to say told you so. Nope cant do that, you were hoping it would be different. Those little voices just don't want to go away, Yes i have jumped once or twice, because the one on the right told me to or the one on the left they tend to switch things up just to confuse me. Yep jumped of a bridge, that was oh i don't know, but way to high from the water for my comfort. Whole way down screaming oh shit, hit the water and felt like it took ten minutes to surface, the whole time wondering if i was going to surface or if that voice of mine was going to keep me down, only to surface after all the life had drained out of me, And guess what that voice said to me, see you can fly. Try again!!  No way the other one said, the next time it might not be near water. Remember when you were driving and i brought you back from the edge of the road, because that guy over there yep that's right, the one sitting there always steering you to jump, yeah him telling you it was ok, to go to that place of the great beyond. And me on the other side screaming no, you can make it through, it is only a bump in the road called life, All the while you were holding your ears going lalalalalal, I cant hear you, lalalala. Damn voices show up in the worse possible times, but thankfully i can realize that there is still so much left to learn. So to my dear friend, sometimes we don't listen because there was a lesson that still needed to be learned.

animals

this is something i struggle with i am an animal lover of all types, except creepy crawly bugs. Well a couple of years ago i rescued a wonderful black German Shepard, i believe he was a retired canine. Midnight was is such a wonderful dog, but he is old in fact he will be 11 in July. I was hoping to give the dog a good home to live out the rest of his years, as a lazy dog. So circumstances happened and we lost our house which was not even a factor when we took midnight in. Well moving to an apartment that would only let me have one big dog i had to choose, our other sheared who is four, is our million dollar dog she has broken her elbow and has pins she is allergic to everything that involves grains. Midnight went to a wonderful home, my brothers. Where i could still visit him. Now my brother and his wife are moving, and he is to come back here. I am not suppose to have him. but how can you hide a 100 lb Shepard? Just so happens that mu friend has been thinking about a dog, She would be the perfect fit for her. Except i am worried about her little girl, who is very afraid of animals in general. I know this sheared would love her to pieces. And than there is the old factor it is hard to fall in love with an animal that may go sooner than you want him to. But I can guarantee he will not go to a shelter. People may say well you should have rented someplace that would let you have both dogs. But at the time I had a perfect house for him. And I could not find a place that would allow two big dogs and three boys..

the frustrations of my 12 year old..

Lets see it is now 7:09 am, and i have been up since 6:15 trying to get my 12 year old out of bed. First i start my coffee because this feat is going to take some serious caffeine to be able to stay sane, so with coffee in hand i go on to my sons room and precede to start and wake him up, First lights are on blankets off, And he just lays there, dozing on and off. Now I have tried to pull him out of bed which results in him yelling that i am hurting him one way or another. So here i am left standing wondering did i just hurt him. Because i am so furious with this situation that i might just have. Lets see this process has taken now over a half hour to get this far, I now open his mouth and proceed to cram his pill in and tell him to swallow. So here we are we have arrived at 6:50 in the morning and all i have accomplished is jamming a pill down my kids throat. He is still laying in bed and i am now huffing and puffing because this is the same thing every morning, now the yelling starts you have 10 minutes to get dress and get ready to leave you need to be out the door by 7:00. Ok now it is nine minutes, So he stretches and works all the kinks from sleeping out, and i am frothing at the mouth, ready to explode. Wow it is amazing some how he gets ready with 30 seconds to spare. All is now well in my house, And he always apologizes for not getting up on time, and always gives me a hug good bye with a promise that tomorrow he will get up on time, which is more than my 14 year old does, Who by the way is up and ready on his own. I hope eighth grade will be easier for the 12 year old thank god he is in 7. So now I sit here and wonder if, I have been going through this same routine now since the kid started school why do i still get so upset, As he says i make it to the bus so whats the big deal. 7:28 and i am now exhausted from the days events, which just started.